Never a Wasted Tear?

I have heard before that there is never a wasted tear. I don't remember the conversation or the exact circumstances leading up to the conversation, but I remember enough...and it was too similar to my day today.

I am not really sure if I believed then that there were no wasted tears. From each one comes some realization - some profound, some simple - and with each tear the soul is cleansed a little. It sounded good. So I kind of hung on to it for a number of years. Maybe it is like a child clinging to their favorite blanket for comfort - no matter how old, tattered, or torn it might be.

I feel myself trying to cling to the comfort that I have not wasted literally hours today crying, that somewhere in there something wasn't wasted. But to be honest with you, I don't feel comforted, cleansed, or anything other than sad, wondering, lost. These are the times that I should really rely on God, but right now I cannot find it in myself to do so.

I am scared. I am terrified that no matter how much I want for something to be different, there is nothing that I can do. Life seems to be full of surprises, something at every turn. I have been, for the past 4 years, in a pretty good place. I found the strength that I needed to get out of and away from a lot of crap. I believe that I did not do that by myself or for myself - it was all God. And right now I am trying so hard not to blame Him for not doing the same for all who need it.

If you could, please take a minute and say a prayer for my brother and those in his life. He really needs to change his life before it is too late.
Thanks.